apophasis
original work by Zoë Baker
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Threadbare

Her - wearing a set
of ears, open envelopes
swallowing letters,

sweating. Her, staring,
wondering at what point you
can take back tearing

edges, the ended.
Disassembling. Not every
thing may be mended.

Not everything may
be mended. In a garden
in Maine, cut away

grass to the knee. Make
rows. I can do that. Make thirst
from sweat salt and slake

it. All she wants is
a storm, a stomach ache, some
thing she can’t control.

April 2012

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Realized I should have put this on here a while back! This is me (sorry, far away) reading at the 10th Annual Five College Poetry Fest.

Here’s a blog about the night as well.

News bulletin

You may have noticed that I took some work down recently. It made me sad but I submitted it to a contest. Sorry the blog is sparse right now! Life is hard.

Stranger in a Strange Land

In the mornings, they
slung suds across the
sidewalk and mopped the
cement. I crept from
the hotel. I was
afraid of my tongue
and wanted to use
yours. We bought a bag of
peeled cactus fruit. We
bought jicama in
a plastic cup. You’re
not an Ameri-
can, you said. You’re a
Northamerican.
The subways were hot
and clean. I wandered
museum corners,
forty thousand years
in folded hallways,
on pedestals, in
sunken glass panels,
murals, statues, the
steps up the face of
the Pyramid of
the Sun. The city
lay humid and bright.
I felt smooth and white,
like linens or tile.
At the House of Tiles,
the waitress gave me
the Spanish menu
and you the English,
as though she and I
stood in some kind of
solidarity.
This is my favorite
story. In the morn
-ings, we watched sitcoms
before you went to
work. When you left I
watched children’s cartoons
in Spanish, murmur-
ing to myself.

April 2012

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Sweeties

We lay like endives in early
hoarfrost, our ears delicate as
chicory leaves. Our little bed
was cotton, not breathing dirt, but
her voice was winter ice pressing
our ears low and timid with rime.

We returned. Why? We were stubborn
salmon – we were butterflies like
eyelashes looking at someone
lost. My skin was strange. I heard each
pebble stumble from his pocket.
Did they? We came home smelling damp,
eyes like wet leaves peeled from the ground.

Then we didn’t. I dream that day.
I dream the sugar-skinned hovel,
chewy, marshmallow-breasted, striped
in red, strung with lollipop glass.
I dream the slick, frangible roof
crunching, each splinter glittering.
I dream the gooiness, the suck,
as I pulled the window pane from
its sticky hole and sat down to
lick the hull with my whole, hot mouth.

I dream the witch and my mother
the same. I do not dream the fire. I do
not dream the bone my brother used
as a finger, unfattened as
he swelled. I dream her eyes sometimes,
unfocused, and her nose, seizing,
the nostrils widening. What did
she smell? Meat beyond the sweet walls?
Her house so slight (iced lacy pink
but icy thin) two children could   
undo it.

Feb 2012

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Bones

 The quarry reminded me
   how delicate our heads,
   how hollow.
Christmas ornaments underfoot.
 
Quarries have corners. Not
   unexpected claw: inexorable stone,
dense and rife with pick-axed edges
never meant for children to clutch
while feeling with their toes
the slick, shallow-most edge
   of a water hole.

Quarries huddle in man’s wasteland
   and quarries have rules,
unlike the sea
which sometimes foams
   and sometimes doesn’t,
smells of Lot’s wife,
has the moon stuck in its teeth
   like a caramel apple,
scrapes bones and bottles
   equal parts smooth.

One forgets in the smooth sea.
One fears, perhaps, teeth
   scrabbling out of the silken floor.
One dislikes seaweed
   lipping the ankle.
One worries about drifting out
   in the slow drawing of tides,
   eternal bathwaters.

So the family went to the quarry.
That porringer of rock held my grandmother
   in her huge yellow tube,
obpyriform fingers like
   slow water bugs.
My grandfather bobbed baldly,
my brother attached to his neck
   with sucking hands.
My mother, I’m sure,
   monitored, in a straw sun hat,
and my father’s curls
already wept stagnant water.

I remember myself at the edge.
I remember the slipperiness,
   the long solid slope of it,
the yellow green rock
like a rough-hewn toad.
I remember I
   was the only one worried,
in the rubbery early summer of it all:

clean sky shredded with cloud, almost citrus in freshness,
   trees stippled with leaves,
   each one licked by a gold tongue of light,
   and the water lapping,
   lurching,
   like soup in a bowl.

Nov 2011

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